Sand Dollar Hoarder & The Fictitious Significant Other (#3)
When fiction lends a hand to declutter reality
This post is dedicated to my colleague and friend Alicia Kenworthy, writer of Catalectic. After sharing this story, she suggested I begin a substack and include it as a post. Cheers, Alicia! Thank you being my first subscriber.
Hello, My Name Is Juliette And I’m A …
An arguing family of Italian Virgos could relocate faster, I’m convinced. After Pegasus delivered Rose1 in a dream, I placed a statue from Greece in gratitude, then requested guidance. Pausing to brush my teeth, “ MOVE,” loudly and slowly sounded in my mind. Message received. “ A clean move!” I declared. My commitment to evolve with Pegasus was made.
This little San Francisco townhouse of over a decade no longer fit my identity nor the future beckoning my every molecule. To remain with a politician’s grip on rent control here is no more productive for me than shining a turd. A few out of the door and one in a box revealed skeletons in my living room closet. Beyond the borderline I plummeted undetected through slow process into … a sand dollar hoarder.
Barefoot in cold water splashing above my calves, I found a coping mechanism to wash away all but positivity. Three miles on Ocean Beach returned me to the cityscape focused, fierce, and with a Fistful of Flawless Sand Dollars2. Stashed in labeled shoe boxes: primed white, primed clear, rinsed, barnacles attached, various painted hues, and miscellaneous. If my Pegasus statue could move, the hooves would cover the eyes.
Struggling to correct via return to source, I individually wrapped and packed only the best, for Aphrodite. My first mind prep was to imagine sharing an elegant spacious house in Southern California with a fictitious platonic housemate, an admirable friend. Dialoguing in thought, the pile dented toward my goal yet the ocean continued to flood from my closet. How many days did I walk on that beach? Time to raise the stakes.
With my chihuahuas poised staring across the barrier reef of sandy trinkets, my fictitious significant other appeared in mind to help clear the path. This was a moment to show our maturity, respect, and intention to grow into a cohabiting couple. Now, I had to face the fictitious love of my life with all I packed.
So welcome to the third stop in the incandescent Palace, the courtyard where fiction is pulled outside into the growing grass of reality that be. We will return to the grand ballroom where Jacq and Rose reside in a future post. Until then, please pardon my cash pot of idiosyncrasies.
The best discoveries are reached from the grapevine.
Please do tell a few friends of common interests. Share directly, or via social media.
Scene Sample To Help Spend A Small Fortune
FICTITIOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
(the front door opens, he caries her over the threshold, dogs of the household following) Let our masterpiece begin inside this canvas. Together, we imagine vibrant and flourish. Welcome - to our Palace!SAND DOLLAR HOARDER
You, my passion, my magnetic soul of eternity - Our magic, I’ve felt since the first whisper in my ear. For encouraging our dreams, thank you.(kisses him) FICTITIOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
(spinning around to swirl her down to her feet) Let’s swim naked under the moon, then sip wine in bed and pretend to watch a movie with the sound low … next month, we remodel, starting with this window. - I’m ready for everything! (holds her close, facing the window)SAND DOLLAR HOARDER
Pegasus stomping a wellspring, in a stained glass panel, with air-flow windows surrounding: do you like? While the pool warms, we should share inspiration in the hot tub. Your everything, I will design, so tell me all you desire.FICTITIOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
You had me at the eternal flow of knowledge reading nook. Can there be more?SAND DOLLAR HOARDER
Oh, plenty! (turns to sort through boxes)FICTITIOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
I have a blanket, a guitar, this candle (smells the slightly used orange candle and looks through the window) … Did we decide to plant roses or tulips before the party? I noticed orange, pink, red, white, and maybe lavender in your planner when I readied the greenhouse last week.
(grabs a tweed fedora with a small peacock eye feather from a box and places it on his head)SAND DOLLAR HOARDER
All the flowers are delightful enough for me, love! … My 001 boxes are starter kits. Movers grouped by room. The first KT, BR, and BA will get us through the week. - I found the bath kit, all fluffy new towels!FICTITIOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
(smiles, pulls a thin sparkling boa from his box and drapes it around her neck) ”A clean move” you insisted, and this is squeaky! Worth the fraction of forever, and hounding a real estate agent. I love you for this! - I have your spreadsheet. (shifts around boxes looking for the other kits)SAND DOLLAR HOARDER
I’m excited to see what you deemed worthy of boxing.FICTITIOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
Oh, just a library, and a few dozen other assortments of fun stuff you might love. … Count me in for your clean move! On sorting day, say the word, if you don’t like something, it’s gone.SAND DOLLAR HOARDER
I love you for all you might have packed. We are going to be fine. … The days of dragging stacks across Bryant Park to read near the harp hold such sweet memories for us. This wouldn’t be home without a library.FICTITIOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
Lucky for me that architect couldn’t find the Schwarzman building. Blind date newbie. (sly smile with a giggle) … Stellar! (pushes boxes out of the way to expose cases of a wine, brand-labeled by type) Our party wine delivered! You are the catch of that big ocean, hon! (turns to kiss her on the head)SAND DOLLAR HOARDER
(pauses unpacking in a confused still moment)FICTITIOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
Let’s forget the crowd and warm home on our own with a yummy Cabernet. - I can offer a serenade. (wraps his arms around behind her and begins kissing the side of her neck) And you definitely packed wine glasses in a kit.SAND DOLLAR HOARDER
(slowly speaks) That’s not wine.FICTITIOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
(still kissing her neck and shoulder) Oh … what’s in the box?SAND DOLLAR HOARDER
Sand dollars.FICTITIOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
(stops kissing her neck) Sand dollars. - And what else?SAND DOLLAR HOARDER
Just sand dollars.FICTITIOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
(short laugh, resumes kissing her shoulder) Let’s leave sorting Cabernet sand dollars for later, and celebrate with a Pinot instead.SAND DOLLAR HOARDER
Nooooo. FICTITIOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
(stops kissing her shoulder, now concerned) No??!.DOGS
(all turn their heads in unison and stare at her)SAND DOLLAR HOARDER
Pinot is sand dollars … with barnacles.FICTITIOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
I’m seeing a case of Rosé and of Sauvignon Blanc. Have I struck wine yet? (Beat) Is this on the spreadsheet?!?SAND DOLLAR HOARDER
There’s a section…FICTITIOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
You don’t say! Clean move?! A bit more inland with a nice pool we decided. Were you planning on recreating a beach? Did you pack sand?!SAND DOLLAR HOARDER
If you refer to the spreadsheet…FICTITIOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
You impress me as an impeccably organized, baggage-free kind of woman. I inquire for your plan before referring to the nautical spreadsheet.SAND DOLLAR HOARDER
I started shelling to decoratively trim a doorway. My habit became so strong that “just one more” from the beach seemed not much, then the shoe boxes filled. Ten years … I have no idea how many handfuls I brought home. A few (gestures to the wine boxes) I packed as art supplies. To make room for us, I gave up the excess to the beach. It was exhausting!FICTITIOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
Excess? … I have no idea how you define excess. You donate nearly all, aside of your signed books, to the library, yet bring enough sand dollars to spring for a night in the Ritz Carlton with spa passes for two. - You’re a sand dollar hoarder!SAND DOLLAR HOARDER
How many DVDs do you have?!FICTITIOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
You love those DVDs! I’m a clean mover!SAND DOLLAR HOARDER
I’m still trying to find my way out of this. They were already packed before you found this house.FICTITIOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
We talked about moving back to New York. We’re you planning to set up a beach house in Manhattan? What about Italy? Did you think of shipping four cases of sand dollars to another continent? SAND DOLLAR HOARDER
I’m sure there are things we still both need to let go. FICTITIOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
Do you think we can cash these in somewhere?SAND DOLLAR HOARDER
You can take me to the beach.FICTITIOUS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
Nooooo. Song Of The Post
The best discoveries are reached from the grapevine.
Please do tell a few friends of common interests. Share directly, or via social media.
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Rose & Jacq are characters introduced in Incandescent Palace #1: “You Love Me”
Referencing the 1964 film title “A Fistful Of Dollars” starring Clint Eastwood.
Never trade them sand dollars in!
“I’m sure there are things we still both need to let go” 🤣 You are my favorite sand dollar hoarder of them all!! I can’t think of a more unique and wonderful thing to hoard, really. And ahhhhh rent control. So that’s the grip SF has!